What is a healthy relationship and how can you create yours?

By: Shelly Qualtieri, MA, BA

An essential part of any healthy and stable relationship is looking at what we can offer and give to the relationship rather than what we can take or expect out of the relationship.

 A great relationship comes from building, exploring and establishing what it is you want out of your relationships and what you are willing to invest into them. Building healthy patterns from the onset of a relationship is the foundation for appreciation and respect from others.

A healthy relationship can be defined as one that allows both people in the relationship to feel supported and connected. Ultimately; the two people involved decide what is healthy and unhealthy for them, build trust, connection and healthy patterns. In any great relationship you should also have the freedom to voice your concerns without fear or rejection.

 There are different types of relationships we have in our lives. These can be friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, work connections or school friends for example. Additionally; within each of these there can be distinguishing factors such as being a formal or informal relationship. A formal relationship is one that typically lasts for a distinct amount of time, it has a specified beginning and ending, for example; one you may have with a teacher. In contrast; an informal relationship can be with an individual in your life that has similar interests, typically encompasses an emotional connection and can be long term for instance with a good friend, family member or intimate partner.

When we reflect on changing are unhealthy relationships we often about wonder what it may be like to have a positive and encouraging relationship that involves allegiance, trust and compassion. Consider this; the moment you start to wonder if you deserve better within your relationship, it is likely you do. Staying in a hopeless and miserable situation does not make you loyal; it makes you miserable within it and within yourself.  To achieve a strong, open, inspiring relationship you must be loyal to yourself.

When we think of strong and positive relationships the words inspiration and investment come to mind. A healthy bond is one that doesn't pull you down it inspires you to be better, to achieve more, to be your best you! It is a connection where an investment is made by both individuals involved, the other person wants to see you achieve your goals, be amazed by your successes, failures and seeks your inspiration as much as you do theirs. Healthy relationships are about being authentically you!

To work towards building your healthy, inspirational and invested relationship you must ensure you have:

·         mutual respect

·         trust

·         compromise

·         healthy communication

·         absence of physical, mental and emotional abuse / violence

This list is by no means exclusive however; if you have these top five items it is a great starting point for the creation of strong relationships.

The power is in the truth of what you want out of relationships, keeping all topics on the table and acting with your future self in mind to grow the positive and strong connections you desire and deserve.

 You don't want to change so people like you, you must be yourself and the right people will love the real you.