5 Ways To Embrace Authenticity That Feel Safe: Advice from Calgary Based Therapists

Written by our Team at Shelly Qualtieri Counselling & Associates

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt the need to put on a mask to survive? Did you switch up your natural way of speaking to appease your colleagues or say yes to things that didn’t align with your values to fit in? What if I simply told you that you are enough, and it’s okay to drop the mask and embrace the real you? This may sound easier said than done, so that’s why today our Calgary-based Couselling & Coaching team will provide five ways to embrace your authentic self in ways that feel safe. 

Whether you find yourself trying to dim your light to appease others or putting on a character to advance your career, our group of Calgary, Alberta-based counsellors & coaches have years of experience providing mental health services related to showing up as your authentic self. Today, we hope to provide you with some tools you can use to allow the world to make room for you without the mask.

Understanding Authenticity and Safety

But first, let’s start with the basics. What exactly does it mean to be authentic? Well, authenticity can mean different things for different people. For the sake of today’s post, we define authenticity as living your life in accordance with your own ideals and values rather than conforming to those of others. 

It takes a lot of energy to be someone you’re not! And to put it clearly, this energy could be better used by collaborating with your team or showing up for your community. Regardless of the situation in which you may be putting on a mask, when you allow yourself to take it off, you are inherently opening up opportunities for authentic connections and ultimately better mental health.

But I know you might be asking, what if I need to put on a mask for my own safety? Whether that means masking parts of your true identity in areas that aren’t LGBTQ+ friendly or changing your natural accent and concealing your cultural background to appease key stakeholders. This may feel difficult to understand when you’re in the midst, but there are people, communities, and opportunities that are ready to embrace the real you. 

So if you’re in situations where authenticity doesn’t feel safe. Try your best to find allies, friends, or colleagues who can provide a safe environment. Connect with groups or organizations that will allow you to excel as who you truly are. And lastly, understand that once you feel comfortable and confident showing up as your authentic self, you are essentially cultivating safe spaces for others to do the same.

How to Create a Safe Space for Authenticity at Work?

Now let’s get down to business, literally, and discuss how we can create safe spaces for authenticity at work. At Shelly Qualtieri & Associates Counselling & Coaching, we know that the most challenging environments where we tend to mask the most can be at work.  When we’re schlepping away at our computer working a 9 to 5, it can be extremely easy to turn on a character and go into auto-pilot just to get through the day.

However, there can be many harmful effects to "faking it." In fact, research from "Person-Environment Psychology: New Directions and Perspectives " by W. Bruce Walsh, Kenneth H. Craik, and Richard suggests that: 

"acting in a manner that requires suppression of natural tendencies, in itself, has an impact on the autonomic nervous system and may influence immune system functioning."

Creating a healthier work-life balance and fostering authenticity may seem daunting, but don't worry. It's never too late to reverse the effects of masking and embrace positive changes. Let's dive into some practical tips that can make a real difference:

1. Foster trust through open communication and active listening. Give your team the space to express their true thoughts and encourage honest conversations. Even if you're not in a high-ranking position, you can still influence your team by taking the lead in communication or advocating for it with your superiors.
2. Champion inclusivity and diversity in the workplace. Consider joining or starting an organisation that promotes inclusivity, welcoming people from all walks of life. By doing so, you'll contribute to a more vibrant and accepting work environment.
3. Embrace vulnerability and support personal growth. Encourage your colleagues to share their emotions and experiences, creating a safe haven for mental well-being. Your support can pave the way for their personal development and make a real impact that may change the culture for the better. 
4. Recognize and appreciate individual strengths and contributions. Lift up your colleagues and peers by celebrating their accomplishments, whether it's supporting their successful projects or applauding them for overcoming difficult tasks. Showing genuine appreciation for their unique talents can go a long way.
5. Set clear boundaries to ensure your well-being. Don't hesitate to say no to additional requests that won't serve your best interests in the long run. Establishing boundaries will provide a sense of safety and protect your work-life balance, and allow room for healthier decision making in the work-place. 

By implementing these strategies, you'll not only enhance your own work-life harmony but also create a more engaging and fulfilling environment for everyone involved.

How to Cultivate Authenticity in Your Personal Life?

Now, you might be wondering, what about tips for your personal life? Perhaps you're facing similar challenges with your family or within your community. Don't worry, we've got you covered!

1. Reflect on your personal values, beliefs, and aspirations. Take a moment to sit down and contemplate what truly matters to you. Consider the communities you want to support through your actions and how you can align your daily life with these values.
2. Surround yourself with supportive and accepting individuals. Look around, and you'll find many people who appreciate and support you just the way you are. Cultivate relationships with these individuals who embrace and celebrate the real you and don’t be afraid to lean on them for support. 
3. Practice self-compassion and embrace vulnerability. Remember, we're all human, and it's natural to make mistakes along the way. Be kind to yourself on this journey and embrace your imperfections, as they are what make you unique.
4. Set boundaries and learn to say "no" when necessary. Just like in the workplace, don't hesitate to extend this principle to your personal life. It's okay to say no to family, friends, or community members when their expectations or actions don't align with your well-being. By doing so, you make room for other opportunities for self-exploration and self-care.
5. Explore creative outlets for self-expression. Consider engaging in hobbies or activities that allow you to connect with your authentic self. Whether it's trying out a new dance class or taking up sculpting, if that’s your thing! Creative outlets not only ignite your passions but also serve as effective forms of self-care. They help you establish a deeper connection with your authentic self.

By incorporating these tips into your personal life, you'll gain the tools and mindset to cultivate authenticity, find fulfillment, and navigate the challenges that arise within your family and community. Remember, it's an ongoing journey, so be patient and kind to yourself along the way.

Conclusion

Showcasing your most authentic self can indeed be a challenging endeavour. But don't let that deter you. Embrace the process one step at a time, knowing that every small step you take towards authenticity has a ripple effect, empowering others to do the same.

Your journey toward self-discovery and authenticity is unique, and we want you to know that your growth and well-being matter to us. If you ever need additional support along the way, our dedicated team at Shelly Qualtieri& Associates is here for you. We are committed to assisting you in creating a customised plan that will nurture your personal growth, foster self-acceptance, and unlock the potential for a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Remember, you are valued, and your authentic self has the power to make a positive impact on both yourself and those around you. Embrace the journey, trust in your own uniqueness, and regardless of the situation you're in, never let anyone dim your light.